I always knew my parenting style would be somewhat lax. I laugh too easily, and find things that should be naughty funny. But I hadn't thought about what I would really do as a parent until recently. I don't want Lucy to be naughty. I want her to understand "no". I want her to get along with others. I knew disciplining would be hard. I would need to have a plan of attack. I would need....a naughty spot.
I've had "the naughty spot" for a month or so now, and only really used it once. The moment I sat her on it, she bawled and ran for daddy. She wouldn't sit on it. (I didn't expect her to, she's only 15 months...she won't sit anywhere unless strapped in.) But she knew she was in trouble, and stopped doing whatever she got in trouble for in the first place. Success!
However, she's now going through a rather clingy phase. She just wants to be with me all the time. Which is easy during the day for a stay at home mom. She just is...because she has to be. The trouble comes when I have to leave her...even just in the other room with Jeff. I know this is a phase every kid goes through. And what mom can just ignore their kid when they are screaming and reaching for you? And not a naughty scream. A sad, scared scream. So I try and be with her when I can. When we are around "strangers" I hold her. I don't make her go to them. When we are home, we sit together, and play together as much as possible. But sometimes, I have to go to the bathroom, I have to cook dinner, etc, so what then? I don't want to discipline her for wanting to be with me. So we are together as much as possible, and just deal with being apart. I take her to grandmas, and leave her at the nursery, even though she cries. I'm just hoping she'll get over this phase. Advice is welcome.
So, anyway, all this to say that today, I decided she's being a brat, and that it's not always just because she want to be with me. So I picked my battle. Lunch. We will eat. We will sit in our highchair. We will not throw our food on the floor. After a few trips to the naughty spot, lots of screams, and Neako getting a good helping of pears, I feel rather accomplished. She didn't eat the first thing I made her. But she did eat something. She sat in her highchair...when she wasn't in the naughty spot. And she...threw a lot of food on the floor...BUT I think she at least begun to understand that throwing food on the floor is a "NO!". She is now sitting beside me, laughing and trying to ride Neako. Win.
I always knew my parenting style would be a little lax. But she will be good. She will not be mean. She will not be a brat...even if it kills me.
Amber!
ReplyDeleteYay for a new blog post!! I think you are so right when you say "I know its a phase.". And I also think your an awesome mom! I think its super hard not to want to hold your babe when they are wanting you so bad!
When owen went through this, here's what I did. I know the same things don't work for every kid, so take it with a grain of salt, but I would of course hold owen my normal amount, and play with him, but when it came that I NEEDED to put him down I would just be honest and tell him "owen, mommy has to make dinner, and I can't hold you while I do that." I'd then set him down with toys in full view of me. If he cried, I wouldn't pick him up, but just say "owen, your okay, and I'm right here! ". I did this more and more throughout passing days. Keeping myself in view, but not running or paying attetion to his crying. Eventually I've been able to put him in the complete other room and say "owen, I ha need to make dinner now" but I don't have to be in view. I think the very biggest key, whatever the "issue" is consistancy, and persistance, as heart breaking and hard as that can sometimes be :)